A little more than four months have passed since my birthday. I have big plans for this year… and even declared it a year of change on my old blog. Several things have changed for the better, the biggest being re-branding my photography business to Brooke Murphy Photography. But other ambitions have fallen flat. I thought I might slink away and not bring them up, but omitting tarnished commitments seems a bit naughty to me. Especially the one that involved peer pressure and monetary commitment. Thus an update.
I had such optimism in February to kick-start a healthy lifestyle. A friend had convinced me to begin running with her, said that if she could do it, I could do it too. And I still don’t doubt those words. But I am me and the way this has shaken out doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m more predictable than I’d like to be.
After purchasing good running shoes and joining the YMCA, my butt was in gear and it felt great! I went to the gym three to four times a week, worked the treadmill, attended classes and even started strength training. But then my schedule started getting muddled with working longer hours at my day job and my photography business picking up with the warmer weather. Those two things cramped my style.
I’d leave work later, go to the gym and stay for at least an hour, get home and shower, eat at 8pm, work in photoshop or write blogs until 11pm (or later) and then not be able to fall asleep because I ate so late. And then I’d get back up early again the next day only to try to squeeze everything I
needed wanted to do into a 24-hour period. I like to stay busy but I don’t like to feel worn down – and my body was telling me to slow things down. I was constantly tired, couldn’t concentrate and then began to worry about it all. So of course the gym, being the easiest thing to forgo, got put on the back burner.
The other let down to my healthy lifestyle commitment was that I wanted to watch what I ate. I found that when I worked out though, I’d shove anything within an arm’s reach into my face. I was hungry all the time. And I didn’t make good choices. So even while I was sweating it out at the gym, I didn’t see any results. My measurements had shrunk some, but not how I had hoped and no weight fell off. I was completely disappointed and I know it’s all my fault.
I ended up canceling my membership at the YMCA last month (and I felt so guilty doing it), but since then it’s really felt like a weight has been lifted. And it’s cleared my mind to let me refocus on a myself, including that healthier lifestyle, and get back into the swing of things. I’ve made mental notes on my food intake and have seen a difference in the way I feel. I’ve been lifting small weights and taking vitamins every morning. I’ve made time to relax with Mike and just veg out every now and then. And I’ve caught up on sleep which is a gift in and of itself. (I may have slept 27 hours in a 48 hour period last weekend.)
The take away from all of this is that even though I didn’t complete the goal I had set, I’m still making progress; I’m just going about it differently. (Case in point is why I don’t make New Year resolutions.) I am bummed how my follow through to commitments I make for myself are almost always failures, but at the same time if I’m still happy and content, does it really matter? I’m going with “probably not.” :)